Abraham Maslow called the degree of disparity between self-concept and the actual experience incongruence.

Self-Concept

An individual's perception of themselves, including beliefs about one’s attributes, roles, goals, and competencies.

Incongruence

A state of being where there is a discrepancy between one's self-image and the reality of one’s experiences or behaviors, often leading to psychological distress.

Actual Experience

Real, lived events and interactions that an individual undergoes, as opposed to theoretical knowledge or speculative scenarios.